懶散

我認為懶散是一種美德。因為只有從容，生活才有情趣；只有悠閒，世上才有藝術。

— 王迪詩 · 《蘭開夏道》之〈我為甚麼這樣懶〉

Korean Ceramics

Only recently did I learn that the Consulate General of the Republic of Korea in Hong Kong is actually pretty close to my office, and I never imagined that a ceremics exhibition would be held there. Well, it was, and I went - I thought it would be a delightful stroll during the lunch hour away from the hustle and bustle of the shopping malls below.

*

It appears that a Culture Center has been established within the premises of the Consulate to promote Korean arts and crafts, and the exhibition was held in that Center. As the elevator doors opened, I was faced with a guard sitting beside a metal detector, one of those you need to walk through as you go through customs in an airport. I was greeted with, presumably, Korean. Seeing my puzzled face, the guard asked in English what he could do for me. I stated the cause of my visit. He examined my bag as I walked through the metal detector. Security checks passed and I entered the Consulate office.

*

It was small, and the Cultural Center was just two office rooms. One of them was a library, in which Korean books were displayed. The ceramics exhibition was in the other bigger room, but somehow the works were rather casually displayed on open tables, with a price marked against the title and the artist's name of each item, in the range of a few thousand Hong Kong dollars. The presentation there did not quite match the artistic mood of the exhibition poster. I finished looking at the exhibition in less than 10 minutes.

*

I took a booklet, which contained a beautiful collection of the photographs and detailed descriptions of the exhibits. Browsing through the booklet, entitled "Emanating Grace and Generosity - The Beautiful Story of Korean Crafts", I must say that it did a better job of promoting Korean ceramics than the exhibition itself. I realize how much photography, through the use of lighting and shadows, can help to create an artistic air.

*

Impressed indeed by the grace emanating quality of the ceramics, as shown in the photographs in the booklet, I somehow think of Japan Video Topics (日本風情畫). It is a series of programmes produced by the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs to let foreigners have more understanding of Japanese culture, society, technology, environment and so on. It used to be shown on TV in Hong Kong and, perhaps rather oddly, it was one of my favourite programmes. The tranquil style adopted in those series is strangely akin to the sense of serenity I feel in the ceramics photographs.

寫在國慶前

北京大柵欄



出發往北京前一天，大柵欄第二次發生傷人事件。回港翌日，北京即又有新疆餐廳爆炸。在京的幾天能安然無恙，頻呼好彩。一邊讀新聞，一邊想起當地高度鎮壓的緊張氣氛，猶有馀悸。

今次因工作關係到京匆匆一轉，見聞點滴，令我心情複雜。頭一天的下午，聽罷北大一位教授對當地法治情況及立法程序的尖銳批評，頓感大開眼界！其言論及思想之開放，令人精神一振，在當地的政治環境下，更是難得。教授語調平靜，不用講稿，徐徐道來，卻是字字珠璣，話裏有骨。活潑的例子跟幽默的評論，穿插於演說之中，觀眾的情緒，盡在掌握之內，拿捏的精準，足見其大師風範。講畢，眾人熱烈鼓掌，拜教授過人的感染力所賜，氣氛歡愉，但想深一層，面對國家法律制度的種種問題，內心是沈重的。教授用心良苦，愛之深才責之切，不見激動，卻見激情。他選擇以幽默的方式表達，倍添一份對現實的無奈。

晚上，大會安排眾人往戲院看國慶電影《建國大業》。此片在港還未上映，料不到竟能在京先睹為「快」。戲票不便宜，要六十元人民幣，但戲院沒有冷氣。看這官方電影，重溫中國近代血淋淋的歷史，心情又是複雜的。對照日間深刻的演講，一時覺得，一天之內不勝承受這般反差。走出戲院，在首府秋天晚上的涼風之中，猜想教授會怎樣評述電影的一些片段，例如毛澤東在如北海道薰衣草原般的田野上，跟小孩騎牛牛溫馨的一幕。

行程緊密，最後只有半個下午的時間，供我們到遊客區逛逛。當地領隊帶我們到大柵欄去，我們是驚訝的，後來有人跟她說了那裏近日連續兩次發生傷人事件，原來她之前並未聽聞。這些新聞，在香港可是頭條呢。忽然感到，新聞自由、資訊流通，並不是理所當然的。

在大柵欄附近，大概每五步會見到一對公安或武警，全副槍械裝備，緊盯途人。大柵欄事件後，城內不許賣刀，只見張小泉刀剪店拉了半道閘（為什麼是半道閘？），閘前有兩名武警看守。坦白說，走在這樣的街上，我是感到不安的，彷彿越是鎮壓，越是引人作亂反抗。中國是否要這樣的國慶？

晚上，獲安排到國家大劇院聽音樂會。當局高度戒備，除用X光檢查隨身物品，及要入場者通過金屬偵測器外，凡有相機的更要寄存。由入口到座位，像過境一樣，可花上半小時。有人在場內用電話拍照，即被場內人員用紅燈指示棒照射，全場可見，但當事人卻多懵然不覺。

回港之後，讀到報章標題「G20取代G8 中國地位提升」。另一份報章訪問曾憲梓，他說了「你看，六四後中國的經濟發展，不是飛黃騰達麼」的發達論。訪問背頁，是該報編制的「建國六十年專輯」，標題為「新中國 歷史瞬間（1976-2009)」，下面圖文並茂列出這三十多年來的歷史事件，其中一幀圖片是「六四經典一幕：青年王維林隻身阻擋坦克」。我掃讀三十年的回顧，眼眶不自覺濕了：能在發達論廣傳的國慶氣氛下，在報上讀到這些史實，其實也不是理所當然的。我想起程翔說過，內地一些新聞工作者冒死爭取新聞自由，香港的傳媒如自我審查，是要羞恥的。

十月一日國慶燒煙花的時候，想想我們在慶祝甚麼。煙火的灰燼背後，我大概會想起北大那敢言的教授，而在心裏放個小煙花 -- 國家仍有像他這樣的人，是值得慶祝的。

Punishments

Osaka in spring


The wisdom in Greek myths is awe-inspiring even in the modern age. Punishments, for one, are often so creatively cruel that the message of the tale gets right across.

In one version of the myth, the beautiful nymph Echo had a tendency to talk too much. Echo distracted Hera from Zeus with long and entertaining stories, so that Zeus could take advantage of the moments to attend to other females. When Hera found out, she punished Echo by making it impossible for Echo to say anything other than repeating others' last words. Some application of the tale to office politics?

Echo then fell in love with a vain youth named Narcissus. He is known for his haughtiness in spurning his admirers. One day, Echo followed Narcissus into the woods. She was longing to speak to him but was unable to speak first. She could only foolishly repeat Narcissus' shouting "Who's there?" until, finally, when she revealed herself and was predictably rejected. Echo was heartbroken. Nemesis heard the prayer asking that Narcissus suffer from unrequited love just as he had done to others. Nemesis made Narcissus come across a deep pool in the forest and see his own reflection for the first time, not realizing the image was one of himself. He fell for the reflection and, not being able to act on this love, stabbed himself to death. The flower narcissus sprang from his blood.

What a lovely tale warning people against being cruel to their admirers - the ending was stark comical, yet deserving.

笑死

「如果一個理髮師，他只為不為自己理髮的人理髮。各位同學：這樣他會否為自己理髮呢。

如果他只為不為自己理髮的人理髮，他會為自己理髮。如果他為自己理髮，他就不是一個不為自己理髮的人，他就不會為自己理髮。這也是悖論。

人以為自己的思考和諧、美麗、敏感、優雅。但人卻陷入自己的邏輯思考裏面，不能自拔。

人以為自己解決問題，人卻在解決問題的當兒，創造更大的問題。

人還以為自己的思辯能力為最大呢。......」


— 黃碧雲 · 《七種靜默》

* * *

猶太諺語謂：人一思考，上帝就發笑。假如上帝真的已死，告訴尼采，祂大概是笑死的。

Prep

Another helping of Curtis Sittenfeld after American Wife. Prep is actually Sittenfeld's first novel, and it received mixed reviews - while it was applauded for its strong detail and narration, others criticized it for its weak plot. As I was taken through the life of an ordinary teenage girl in Ault, a prestigious and competitive boarding school near Boston, I was over and over again struck by a number of convincing dialogues (or monologues, rather) - they echoed certain encounters and thoughts of my own so vividly that the experience was almost creepy. I have noted down in here some quotes from the book that have touched a chord; given that they have been quoted out of context, there is a chance they do not appear as persuasive as in the story itself.

Notwithstanding that Prep may be light on plot, it is a truthful, if not cruel, account of issues arising from class, race, sex, family and people that a young girl has to handle in a privileged yet possibly suffocating environment. A word of advice to local parents therefore: before rushing to queue for a place for your child at Harrow School in Tuen Mun, read Prep - at least you'd know what the huge bills may be paying for, and what your child may be learning other than pretentiousness.

* * *

"I was worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely."

"I'd researched boarding schools at the public library and written away for catalogs myself. Their glossy pages showed photographs of teenagers in wool sweaters singing hymns in the chapel, gripping lacrosse sticks, intently regarding a math equation written across the chalkboard. I had traded away my family for this glossiness."

"I imagined that if I left South Blend, I would meet a melancholy, athletic boy who liked to read as much as I did and on overcast Sundays we would take walks together wearing wool sweaters."

"If I wasn't literally getting dumber, I knew at least that I'd lost the glow that surrounds you when the teacher think you're one of the smart, responsible ones, that glow that shines brighter every time you raise your hand in class to say the perfect thing, or you run out of room in a blue book during an exam and have to ask for a second one."

"I think, looking back, that this was the single best thing about Ault, the sense of possibility."

"It was more when things slowed down, during the parts when you were supposed to have fun, that my lack of friends felt obvious..."

"I believed then that if you had a good encounter with a person, it was best not to see them again for as long as possible lest you taint the previous interaction."

"Of course, now I wonder where I had gotten the idea that for you to participate in a gathering, the other people had to really, really want you to be there and that anything short of rabid enthusiasm on their part meant you'd be a nuisance. Where had I gotten the idea that being a nuisance was that big a deal?"

"I thought maybe this was why you told stories to other people - for how their possibilities enlarged in the retelling."

"But making a lot of money didn't seem like something I'd be able to control; I'd gotten as far as Ault, but I wasn't sure I'd get any further. I wasn't smart or disciplined the way those kids were, I wasn't driven. Presumably, I'd always be aware of lives like these without living one; I couldn't confuse familiarity with entitlement."

"I hated them [family] because they thought I was the same as they were, because if they were right, it would mean I'd failed myself, and because if they were wrong, it would mean I had betrayed them."

"Later, after Ault, I reinvented myself - not overnight but little by little. Ault had taught me everything I needed to know about attracting and alienating people, what the exact measurements ought to be of confidence and self-depracation, humor, disclosure, inquisitiveness; even, finally, of enthusiasm."

"I've never since Ault been in a place where everyone wants the same things; minus a universal currency, it's not always clear to me what I myself want. And anyway, no one's watching to see whether or not you get what you're after -- if at Ault I'd felt mostly unnoticed, I'd also, at certain moments, felt scrutinized. After Ault, I was unaccounted for."

-- Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

售貨員

那個下午街上熱得像個蒸籠，我想避一下暑便隨意走進一間小小的服裝店胡亂逛逛，卻在售貨員的慫恿下拿了一襲衣裳進更衣室，試上身後對售貨員的跨獎信以為真，迷迷糊糊的拿了信用卡出來簽賬，竟又給售貨員讚美我的簽名優雅 -- 真要命，讚穿衣好看還好，簽名卻是很個人的一回事，一讚還得了-- 我說不，敝簽名太簡單，太容易被冒簽啦，她再說一遍但真的很優雅啊，好像很由衷的樣子，教天真的我歡喜了一個下午。許久沒遇過這麼棒的售貨員了；今時今日，其實很需要這樣令人賓至如歸的服務態度呢。